NOT A BIG FUSS

Distance. Only physical. Nothing much. Not a big fuss. 

Grades. Only divides. From one another. Not a big deal.

Encountering those gap, it shows the lions and a cubs, top-dog and under-dog. 

Some people thought they couldn't live in distance, away from others whose match. They only think that way. They put on all their will and effort to closed the margin, just to be associated. The faith that they should posses evaporates, deteriorates, timely. They won't accept the fact that what they have planned is to shallow compared to what is in-line by the Almighty. They should have known that, His promise is true. His promise is great. If only they knew. In circumstances, things are made a secret. And when the secret unveil, they'll be thankful. Maybe. Not a big fuss.

When it comes to grades, everyone wants to be on top. Then who should filled up down below? No one. If a structure without a solid base, it will collapse. Some samples don't mind carrying water bottles and training balls just to see others hits it right, and some just plain don't care. No one wants to do that. But a true champions, "Always want the ball (responsibility, at any levels)". It does, "Grades creates divides". Its not a big deal.

The truth, a little distance kept you on your feet, always ready to break forward or rundown defending and high grades let you see the sea that open for opportunities and repairs. 

Great man deals with this blindfolded. Don't have to be told. Comfort zone is not created for you, its something for you to create, in fact, creates. Grow up. 

High Hill

Overwhelming. I should say. I been in a world that no barriers holdings. Or, they just plain don't care about the walls that built to protect. As a matter of fact, its an experience that anyone, perhaps, desire to be in. As for myself, it does tickle. A lot. My brain couldn't stop dreaming. Dreaming of something that I've never ever think i could get to. It makes me realize what an enormous world that haven't been explore. At this state, I just play it simple, ready for anything. Because I know, its a Big, Big, Big world out there. We don't know what awaits us tomorrow, in future. As far as i'm concerned, my life is OK, just OK. I think. Plenty to run for. A lot to catch up. If there's an earthquake, its fine. I'll live. Happiness is created. Its created. I'll choose to be OK. Until then...

Spark

Every time her eyes meets mine, I can see courage, hard fought to belief, that future is at stake, happiness to be destined, alongside me. Is this torture? I believe its not. Its a test of resilient. Just in case we hit rock bottom, there's always path hidden underneath the rockiness. I hope...i don't want to..i want to believe, that this is the right way. I wont set any bar, but for certain, my heart sparkling, and i know, when it does, I could conquer this mountain obstacle. Happy it is, happy it will then. There are no great life to be told without any failure, there aren't. But something for certain, the effort that been put in is all that matters, the end result could differ. I'm loving it, i'm loving you, and if there's any let down, i'm not saying that I want it, but i'm just telling that i'm all ready to face it, which makes me very gentle in touching the skin so that no damage that cause bleeding.

Doubt.

Ya Allah, Ikhlaskanlah aku. What's wrong with my brain? Is there something wrong with my liver? It is the right thing to do, yes. But why i felt something wrong when i don't even get 1/10 from the pie? Its not like i'm asking for something heavy, just a small portion, just a bit, just a taste of sweetness to remove all this, disturbance, grudge, uneasiness. Why did i kept thinking bout this? There's so many unresolved matters, unanswered questions. Ya Allah, Ikhlaskanlah aku.

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani,

Katakanlah Dia adalah Allah, Maha Esa. Allah itu tempat pergantungan. Dia tidak beranak dan tidak diperanakkan. Dan Tiada setara denganNya, seorang pun.

I'm leaving you, you hurt me so bad

It has been long, our relationship had reach its climax. Today, March 22nd, 2011, i vow herewith, to let you go. And hopefully this time its for good. Yes, you never betray me, for the past years, but being attached to you, is wrong. Anyway, anyhow, its wrong. Yes, he makes me realize. I need to let you go because he is not attached with your kind, and i'm trying to be better than him. He knows everything that he do, he can change the world by doing nothing. I can do better, by starting to break up with you. Good bye, and i'm going to miss you, you are there when i'm in need. But happiness is not something that you find, its something you create. I want to create something else, minus you.

Sekali air bah, sekali pantai berubah

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn't know how she was going to make it.

She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot.

He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.

Turning to her, he asked. "Daughter, what do you see?" "Potatoes, eggs and coffee," she hastily replied.

"Look closer", he said, "and touch the potatoes." She did and noted that they were soft.

He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

"Father, what does this mean?" she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity-the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

"Which one are you?" he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us.

Which one are you? When problems come (and they will) how will we react? Will they make us weak, hard hearted or will they cause us to change into something worthwhile?

Identity

For all this 25 years of inhaling H2O, only now, I realize, I don’t have any. That’s the reasons why my surrounding easily being ignorance while i am or not around. Fuhh. I don’t have any. What am i thinking? I just tried to blend, assimilate. I’m poor in self-believe. What should I do? Get one? What I’m having now cannot be considered as one? Where should I find it? Its already 26 years coming June. Its far too late. I pick up piece by piece during this 25 already. What I take actually not mine. It doesn't fit. And now, I couldn't even drop a tear. Even worst come to worst, I just couldn't. Who took it from me, my tears? All I have is fire, that I put off since 17. Why is it light up again? Owh God, give me back what’s mine, if not, give a fresh one, an identity.

Plastic

This "meat" doesn't taste anything. Everything taste, unusual. Why? Where's the sweetness? Where's saltiness? Where awesomeness? Is it been cooked by someone else? i don't recalled that. She's the same. But why it taste different? Maybe its a fake, fake meat, fake sugar, fake salt, or fake all of it. I can't taste anything. I forced myself to finished up. Not a regular me, who consume like a running river. But why is it so hard for me accept all this changes? My body feeling weird days and night. Its like been altered, been implanted with..I don't know. I just felt something is very wrong. Is my great cook don't want to prepare delicacy for anymore? Is it? Owh, she had another customer, whose filled with praises, good perfect lovely tidy looking, who appreciates her verbally, who treat her nicely the way she most deserves. Umm. Yes, its different, the way my body speaking, and the way his eye talking, his mouth praising. Why? After long years of loyalty, returning back without any questions, accepting without ever complaining. Yet, maybe its not enough. Its never enough. Because the world is growing, growing old, same goes to needs, the world is just not enough. If its not end this time around, there will be another bloodshed, another heartbreak. Should i knocking on the next door? I won't. I'm just going to kill if i went. I'll just stay. Waiting outside. Hopefully my lovely cook will remember me. Just to be remembered. I hope I can taste great meat again and not plastic.

Winter

Its cold out here. I can't even felt my blood running through my vein. Less planning, nowhere to go. Everything covered with white snowy sadness. I felt empty, dead to be precise. O summer, please come quick, i need your warmth, I need your shine, i need your smile. O sun, burst your light, punch your heat, so that i can be alive. O God, only you, to whom I seek belief, to You I floored my head to, I seek forgiveness and repent, give me a chance to live my life to the fullest, give me Your will to be alongside my dearest, to be warmth, to feel like to-get-her, to be Love. I begged You, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.